Being with the same person for years can be a beautiful thing, that person knows you better than anyone else and accepts and loves you for the person you are, including your (many) faults. It can also lead to you taking each other for granted and not keeping your initial spark alive, which creates a lull in your relationship. It’s one thing to feel comfortable to be yourself around your partner, knowing full well they love every weird part of you – however, there is such a thing as being too comfortable. Here are 5 tips to help you avoid relationship boredom from creeping into your otherwise perfect union…
This one is a bone of contention in many relationships, when you first get together you make sure you’re always looking your best but then when you’ve been together for a few years you start to slip. It starts in small, seemingly harmless ways, like skipping a wax or putting on a few “happy pounds” – don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy life together and sometimes that means skipping a salad and going for the pizza. All I’m saying is remember the way you looked when your partner fell in love with you; if you don’t look anything like that person today then it’s time for some corrective action. Luckily for those of us with an ENFJ in relationships, they are the ultimate supportive cheerleaders.
This one has always been easy for me; I have always been a self-reliant person, even from a young age. It is so important that you keep your sense of self to prevent the mess of getting divorced, do the things that make you happy even when they don’t involve your partner. That doesn’t mean you keep secrets though, I love pottery and my husband would rather gouge his own eyes out – I still go to my pottery classes and he does whatever it is he does in the garage. He’s happy for me to display my hideously beautiful (that is indeed a thing) pieces around the house, he just doesn’t want to be a part of making them – which makes us both happy.
This one is true and my husband can write a book on not always agreeing. If I’m honest, and hopefully he doesn’t read this, I appreciate that. I would never be happy with someone who just agrees with me, I need the excitement of a challenge and he knows that. Just don’t take this too far, you don’t have to disagree just for the sake of it, but if you truly do not agree then don’t be afraid to voice that.
This one I learned from my parents, they have been married for almost 40 years and their relationship couldn’t be stronger. Unfortunately for me, that included me seeing lots of things I can never unsee, nothing too traumatizing but I certainly always knew that they value their sex life. I only really understood the importance of this when I got older, the easiest way to not get bored in your relationship is to mix things up – and not only once a year on their birthday….
Some couples highly recommend role playing to bring some new spark and mystery into the relationship. Try dressing like a Punk Rave rock star and see where things take you! This one may or may not go hand in hand with the point above… I’ll let you decide on that one. All I am suggesting is that you keep the adventure alive in your relationship, experience new things together and that will help stop the boredom that could lead you to experience new people instead – and we don’t want that.
1. Personal Upkeep
2. Retain Your Identity
3. Don’t Always Agree
4. Keep Things Exciting
5. Try New Things