Man With Child by Marc Kuritz

We’re told that less than one percent of American fathers are full-time dads. Every good dad is a full-time dad. But it does make a difference what shift you take.

I happened to take the day shift…

Hel-lo Mommies, hel-lo Mommies, hel-lo Mommies, we’re glad you’re here today.

Hel-lo Grandmas, hel-lo Grandmas, hel-lo Grandmas, we’re glad you’re here today.

Hel-lo Nannies, hel-lo Nannies, hel-lo Nannies, we’re glad you’re here today.

And hel-lo Daddy, hel-lo Daddy, hel-lo Daddy, we’re glad you’re here today.

That’s Ms. Jennifer’s music class greeting song. That last line is her and the preschoolers singing to me. After grandmas. And nannies.

On preparing for parenthood

”…Sure, paint the baby’s room and register at Babies“R”Us. Read some parenting books and fiddle with the car seat. It will keep you busy, but it will be about as relevant to parenting as the rhythm method is to contraception…”

On crashing the party

”…what are the rules for a full-time daddy in a mommy’s world? There are none. Just by being there, you are defying the expectations, Daddy-O. By all means break the mold. Just tread with patience, courtesy, and a healthy indifference to social discomfort…”

Man With Child is the travelogue of a full-time daddy in a mommy’s world.

For daddies and daddies-to-be, here are some observations, warnings, and minor revelations. For mommies who stare at daddies as if to say “What were you thinking?” here is one dad’s answer. Both mommies and daddies will find insights about each other’s perspectives—with plenty of laughs along the way!

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About the Author

Marc Kuritz is the cheese. Daughter Dessa often pulls Mom Kathy and Dad together for a group hug, declaring herself The Cheese. Sometimes the dogs go along, nosing in, Sammi the big American bulldog and Ajax the elderly, pleading Lab mix. But the poorly kept family secret is that Marc is the cheese. Before the cheese, there was an early career in politics and public policy. Marc might say that his values continue to be served by helping collective human energy achieve constructive common purpose. He might not say that fifteen years in politics equipped him to deal with temper tantrums, sharing issues, and refusal to play well with others-in other words, to be a parent. Consulting to nonprofit entities followed. Marc specialized in needs assessments, program planning, design, evaluation, and resource development. In other words, helping well-intentioned people focus ever-scarce time, energy, and dollars in order to do better at doing good. Marc might admit that consulting was not like parenting only because the clients could fire you and they usually didn't cry when they peed their pants. Today Marc is a rare-book seller, with an established presence in the antiquarian book trade and a worldwide clientele. Unlike children, good books stay where you put them, cultivate humility without humiliating you in public, and are patient while you try to figure them out. In time not allotted to working, parenting, and volunteering, Marc is a competitive fencer. Marc aspires to be a warrior poet, but he is just the cheese.