With the holidays upon us it’s easy for us to get caught up in the rush
of it all. While we may be cooking, shopping, enjoying holiday events
there are others, many of whom are in our very own circles, having a
tougher time. Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a NYC based licensed clinical
psychologist, teaching faculty member at the prestigious Columbia
University Teacher’s College and the founder and Clinical Director of
Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services, reveals who are most likely to have the holiday blues and how we can help them make it through.
1. The newly divorced or widowed.
Loss is a sad, life-changing event at any time of the year. However, it
tends to be harder when everyone around you is joyful celebrating the
holiday’s and you feel it’s an effort to get out of bed. If someone in
your circles is going through a major loss and life transition be
supportive and understanding. “They are grieving and mourning and are
especially sensitive around the holidays. It’s important that they feel
included but don’t be offended if they choose to opt out of certain
events,” advises Dr. Hafeez. She suggests checking in and offering them
the option to participate in whatever they want, when they want. Love
them through it.
2. The busy entrepreneur.
The holidays could be stressful for small business owners because so
much rides on the end of year. They may be fretting over their profits
(or lack thereof), the goals they didn’t reach, and the many things
still to do. They feel overwhelmed and when they are expected to shop,
entertain and be present for their families, they may be short tempered
and anxious. “The best way to help the busy entrepreneur is to make
their life easier in any way possible. If they can’t make it to a family
dinner, tell them your door is open for dessert. Oftentimes they feel
guilty and obligated which only adds to their frustration,” explains Dr.
Hafeez. Also consider that these worker-bees are conflicted. When they
are working they miss their families and when they are with family they
are thinking of work.
3. The caretaker of an elder parent or relative.
Adults who are now caretakers to their elderly parents are incredibly
overwhelmed and often overlooked. As a caretaker, they always have to
consider the well-being of their parent. They can’t just get up and go,”
explains Dr. Hafeez. Caretakers may feel resentful, isolated and stuck
during the holidays which leads to conflicted feelings of resentment
and guilt. They also believe they have to be hands on managing
everything. It’s important to lighten the caretakers load by offering
support even if it means asking them how they are doing. Be patient and
ask the caretaker what they need. It could be something as simple as
having food delivered to their home to free up time for other tasks, Dr.
Hafeez recommends.
4. The recovering substance abuser.
Recovering from addiction is hard. Period. But it’s harder when
holiday festivities are filled with friends and family drinking
everything from eggnog to champagne. “Understand that those in recovery
from substance abuse are hyper-sensitive about being judged. They feel
as if all eyes are on them and that pressure may trigger the desire to
use drugs or alcohol to soothe their anxiety. When they aren’t fully
recovered, they may anticipate possible “landmines” and avoid them. They
may choose to stay to themselves and observe more and participate less.
They might opt out of larger family gatherings that are too
overwhelming,” cautions Dr. Hafeez. Offer an open invitation and remind
them they are welcomed when they are ready. A balance of love, support
and acceptance is what they are in most need of, suggests Dr. Hafeez.
5. The children of divorce.
Divorce means two separate holidays at two different places and kids
feel overwhelmed having to double up. It’s incredibly important for
parents to agree on where the kids are going during the holidays and all
logistical details. “Kids want to feel safe and secure. They don’t want
to feel as if they are the expected to be rushed here and there because
their parents chose to divorce,” says Dr. Hafeez. It could be
unsettling to younger kids and teens may isolate and rebel against any
family events as they are sorting out their own emotions as they get
used to a new normal. You really want to establish a game plan for the
holidays and if possible, stick to it every year, consulting with an online psychiatrist may be the answer.
About the Doctor:
Dr. Sanam Hafeez PsyD, a
NYC based licensed clinical psychologist, teaching faculty member at
the prestigious Columbia University Teacher’s College and the founder
and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological
Services, P.C. a neuropsychological, developmental and educational
center in Manhattan and Queens.
She
can certainly provide answers to specific questions regarding the
connection between grief and anxiety. Feel free to send them to me.
Dr.
Hafeez masterfully applies her years of experience connecting
psychological implications to address some of today’s common issues such
as body image, social media addiction, relationships, workplace stress,
parenting and psychopathology (bipolar, schizophrenia, depression,
anxiety, etc…). In addition, Dr. Hafeez works with individuals who
suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), learning
disabilities, attention and memory problems, and abuse. Dr. Hafeez often
shares her credible expertise to various news outlets in New York City
and frequently appears on CNN and Dr.Oz.
Connect with her via twitter @comprehendMind or www
No comments:
Post a Comment