Good parenting should be an important aspect of every child’s upbringing. Even if you are not in good terms with your ex due to certain reasons, it is important that you find a way to be in good terms so that your children are not affected negatively. Although your ex might not have been a good spouse to you, understand that they can still be the best parent.
Your children need to have frequent and continuous contact with both you and your ex. They need your love to grow into responsible and happy people. Here are tips to creating a custody agreement with your ex whether you are separated or going through a divorce that will assist you.
Understand that it’s about your children’s welfare
Divorce or separation can cause a lot of emotional turmoil resulting in people focusing too much on their own pain and needs. This can make you forget to cater for your children’s needs. The custody is neither about you nor your relationship with your ex, but about your child or children. Though it might be hard for you to co-parents, your child needs a good upbringing within a healthy environment. Set aside your ego and pain and determine what is best for your child.
Set realistic goals and commitments
When setting goals, commitments and activities, be realistic about your own schedule and commitments. Do not let your fear or insecurity get in the way to a brighter future for your children. Take a look at custody as an arrangement that will serve your child, enabling them to make the best and remove any emotions you might be feeling.
Exchange custody in open environments
Due to the nature of most separations and divorce proceedings, things can get nasty. Make your child custody agreement in a safe place. If you are meeting your ex, ensure that the meeting is held in a well-monitored public place. Give your ex an adequate notice at least a couple months to be aware of your plans.
Choose a custody arrangement that benefits your children
Your custody agreement needs to accommodate your children's ages and needs. Along with these it also needs to accommodate your family schedule, you and your exs’ career and social commitments, academic and extracurricular activities as well as childcare arrangements and the distance between the parents' homes. Some of these activities will differ from one child to another, especially if you have more than one child.
For child custody be successful, you need to communicate well with your ex. Find a method of communication that works for both you and your ex. You can make use of tools like Google calendars, icalendars, hire an attorney or even use sites that will assist you. Sites such as OurFamilyWizard.com offer joint calendars, expense logs, and common document storage, among others, that record a non-modifiable record of your communications. See this review to help you in deciding between Custody X Change or Our Family Wizard and determine the best fit.
Also, remember to find out more about the custody agreement process. This is because some custody or visitation agreements have geographical limits. Once you have created a custody agreement, do not violate it at any point.