Skip to main content

What Your Sexting REALLY Says About You

LELO understands well that in times of pandemics we need to find the best ways to express our sexuality and desires. One of the all time favourite methods for maintaining passion is sexting.  Since our smartphones are now completely integrated into our lives, and we use them in virtually every element of our daily activities, in one way or another. Dating and sex are no different, and our always-online sensibilities make us constantly sexually available. Nowhere is this more evident in our penchant for sexting.

Sexting is the transmission of messages that are sexual in nature. That’s nothing new: since we could paint, we daubed erotica and fertility symbols onto rock, and as soon as we could write, our poetry revolved around sex. What’s new is that, now, we can feature ourselves in our sexual messages, through personal and private photos and videos. Around 75% of young adults admit to engaging in sexting. It is now a defining characteristic of our romantic lives.

So, we should ask ourselves, what does our sexting say about us?

Sexting & Romance

There’s a relationship between sexting and the way we become attached to our romantic partners. A 1987 study identified three ways we become attached: secure, avoidant, and anxious.

Secure people describe their relationships as involving happiness, friendship and trust, and don’t worry about intimacy or being abandoned. 

Avoidant people describe a fear of intimacy and find it difficult to depend on their partner. 

Anxious ambivalent people describe emotional extremes and obsessive preoccupations with partners, and are aware that this sometimes scares people away.

Newer research on people who send sexually explicit messages, photos, or videos to initiate sex through texting tend to fall into the avoidant or anxious ambivalent categories. For example, a 2012 study suggested that sexters use this style as a compulsive need for proximity and protection. Others who index more heavily in the avoidant style find that sexting meets their sexual needs while keeping their partner at a comfortable distance.

Sexting In Relationships

A 2015 study investigating sexting between married couples. The researchers found that those in established relationships do engage in sexting, but the levels of reported sexting (messages and pictures) is lower than those for young adults. For example, only around 12% of people in established relationships engaged in sexting

It’s possible that people in committed relationships have less need to sext each other. Or, they could be nervous about a third party seeing the messages. Additionally, they may be less familiar with the concept of sexting, and similarly, since they are generally have sex less frequently than sexually active new couples, that could be reflected in their lack of sexting.

The study then looked at couples’ sexting habits in relation to their relationship attachment styles. They found that for women, sending nude or semi-nude photos was related to higher degrees of avoidant attachment, while for males, sending nude or semi-nude photographs was related to anxious attachment. 

Does Sexting Equal A Satisfying Relationship?

A 2013 study looked at the relationship between sexting and the wellbeing of co-habiting couples. They found that the participants who reported a greater sense of wellbeing in their relationship also reported having sent sexts of one form or another to their partner.

All in all, those of us who are regular sexters seem to have a more precarious view of our relationships, and we’re either clingy, or emotionally distant. That said, the more sexting there is within a relationship seems to suggest that we’re happier within that relationship.

We’ll need to wait a few more years to get a clearer picture of the effect of sexting on long-term relationships though, as most studies seem to focus on younger couples who are more comfortable with the technology and have the sex drive to engage in it.


LELO is not just a sex toy brand; it's a self-care movement aimed at those who know that satisfaction transcends gender, sexual orientation, race, and age. We're offering the experience of ecstasy without shame, the pleasure of discovering all the wonders of one's body, thus facilitating our customers with confidence, that leads to a fulfilled intimate life. LELOi AB is the Swedish company behind LELO, where offices extend from Stockholm to San Jose, from Sydney to Shanghai.


Popular posts from this blog

Copycat Boston Pizza's Bandera Bread

Have you ever had a craving for something but then once you looked at it you realized, I can make that myself for next to nothing? That's how I felt last night I thought about ordering in some food but then realized I really don't want to spend any money. I really wanted pizza bread from Boston Pizza. So I recreated it and oh my goodness was it ever good. Try some of these great recipes too!  Pizza Bread Dough 1 cup warm water 1 tsp instant yeast 1 tsp sugar 2 cups flour  Seasoning 1 tbsp melted butter 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion salt 1 tsp parsley 1 tsp rosemary 1 tsp basil 1 tsp oregano 1/2 tsp sugar 1. Combine the water, yeast, and 1 tsp of sugar in the mixing bowl and let stand for 5 minutes. Add the flour and salt and mix until a ball of dough forms. Roll ball onto a floured counter top and knead for a couple minutes.  2. Put dough in an oiled bowl and let rise for 30 mins in a warm place with a clean cloth draped over top. While your doug

DIY Table Revamp - Guest Post

Hi all! I'm Tiffany from This Motherhood is Brought to You by Xanax and I am so excited to be a part of the Guest Post Swap and to be Amanda's swap partner! I love love love her idea on how to make indoor snowballs with egg cartons. I am definitely going to have to try that with my kiddos since my smallest one has decided that it has to snow for Christmas. Poor baby doesn't know snow is hard to come by in Alabama :( For my guest post I wanted to share a little DIY with you guys that involves duct tape! A few months ago my daughter's little chair that goes with her table she sits at every day tore and she made it worse by pulling all of the stuffing out of the seat! What started out as a quick fix turned into a great idea. She loved her seat so much that she has now decided that her table has look cool too so being the smarty pants that she is, she tore her table!

Amazing Ways To DIY Your Nails In The New Year

Having beautiful fingernails can really boost a woman's confidence. Not only do they feel sexy and sassy but they look well maintained and professional. There are a number of different styles of manicures you can get done professionally but they can be costly and if you are trying to stick to a budget and save money it is best to give DIY a try. These beautiful nail designs are easy to do and look fantastic. There are some that are more intricate and some that are simple but all will be amazed that you made them yourself. Try using small gems and crystals at the tips to add a touch of sophistication.  Tips make a world of difference and they can be as easy as you wish. There are so many beautiful polishes that have amazing colours you can match. These simple nail designs can be done by any busy lady and make a lasting impression to anyone who comes across them. Hot Beauty Health has all the instructions for these super simple nail designs. There are a large number