Helping Our Daughters Grow Into “Somebody”

 One of the greatest gifts we can give our daughters is the reminder that their worth doesn’t come from belonging to somebody—but from being somebody. Too often, young women get caught up in relationships, friendships, or social pressures that make them feel like they have to be defined by someone else. But the truth is, they are already whole and worthy all on their own.

My daughter, Brooke, recently had her first heartbreak. Her world felt like it had cracked open, and as her mom, it broke my heart to see her hurting. First loves can feel like forever, so when they end, it’s like losing a part of yourself. But I keep reminding her of something important: heartache is just a feeling—it won’t last forever.

Heartache is temporary. It’s a storm, and like every storm, it passes. What matters is what we do while the skies are dark, how we care for ourselves during the rain, and what we learn when the sun comes back out.

Here are some of the ways I’m encouraging her—and ways you can encourage your daughter too:

🌸 Strengthen Friendships

The people who stand by you during tough times are the ones who remind you of your worth. Encourage your daughter to lean on her true friends—the ones who listen, make her laugh, and lift her up. These connections help her see that love comes in many forms, not just romance.

🌸 Lead With Kindness

Even when your own heart aches, kindness matters. Teaching our daughters to respond with compassion instead of bitterness is a sign of strength. Kindness doesn’t mean weakness—it means choosing love over resentment.

🌸 Stay Open-Minded

Life doesn’t end with a breakup. In fact, it’s often just the beginning of something greater. Encourage your daughter to stay open to new people, opportunities, and adventures. She doesn’t need to close her heart; she just needs to let it grow stronger.

🌸 Understand Feelings Are Temporary

When she’s in the middle of pain, it feels endless. But helping her recognize that emotions come and go—like waves on the shore—teaches her resilience. Remind her: This too shall pass.

🌸 Memories Are Lessons, Not Chains

First love memories can be sweet and painful at the same time. Instead of dwelling on them, teach your daughter to see them as stepping stones. Every experience—good or bad—helps her grow into the amazing person she’s becoming.

Watching Brooke heal reminds me that being a parent isn’t just about protecting our kids from pain—it’s about teaching them how to navigate it with grace, strength, and hope. Giving her a nice uplifting gift and reminder of how special she is can help a little bit as well. 

My hope for her, and for every daughter, is this: to grow into somebody so strong, so kind, and so self-loving that she never feels like she has to belong to anybody else to be complete.

Because she already is. 💜