Let’s be honest: the cost of simply existing has gotten so out of control that even Santa is probably refinancing the sleigh. Groceries cost more than car payments, electricity bills look like ransom notes, and meanwhile there are people out there dropping millions on diamond-crusted stocking stuffers like it’s nothing.
If there is one thing you can invest in it’s this middle finger ornament that expresses your inner grinch.
So this year, instead of making a wholesome, inspiring Christmas bucket list…
I’m making a Christmas Fuck It List — and honestly, it feels way more realistic.
1. Forget the Fancy Dinner.
Turkey? Ham? A spread that looks like it was catered by the Food Network?
Fuck it.
Eat whatever you can afford. Grill cheese, ramen, or a plate of “whatever’s left.” Light a candle if you want to feel fancy. Boom — ambiance.
2. Expensive Gifts? Absolutely Not.
You know what’s free?
YOU.
Lay under the Christmas tree and tell your family to appreciate the rare, limited-edition, emotionally complex masterpiece that is you.
If they don’t like it, well…
Fuck it.
3. No Overpriced Parties or Events.
Holiday galas? $100 tickets for “experiences”? Overcrowded markets where you spend $12 on hot chocolate?
Nah.
Stay home. Put on comfy pants. Watch TV with snacks that cost less than your rent.
If anyone asks why you didn’t come, shrug and say… you guessed it:
Fuck it.
4. Not Feeling Decorate-y This Year?
Look, if the twinkle lights, garlands, and glitter explosions just aren’t happening for you this season…
Fuck it.
Your house can look like December 3rd all month long. Maybe next year you’ll feel festive. Maybe you won’t. The Christmas police will not arrest you (we hope).
The Grand Finale:
This holiday season, the real question isn’t What’s on your wish list?
It’s:
What are YOU saying “fuck it” to this year?
Because honestly…
Sometimes the most magical part of Christmas is giving up the stuff you can’t afford, don’t have the energy for, or just don’t care about — and finally letting yourself breathe.
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