Remember Who Was There From Day One

 As humans, we naturally crave connection, especially family connection. There’s something deeply rooted in us that wants to belong, to feel chosen, to feel like we matter to the people who share our blood. But missing the idea of family doesn’t mean we need the people who walked away from us. I know if my husband and I never stayed together and our kids were shared between families I would do everything in my power to keep them in my life. Sadly not everyone thinks that way and lets the family fall apart and makes excuses for it later. 

Having no parents is not a bad thing and I am living proof of that. Sure you don’t have grandparents for your kids, no help to get through life, and will never enjoy sharing mom and dad moments like others but that’s why you make new connections and replace those people with those who want to be in your life. 

That distinction matters more than we’re often taught.

It’s easy to romanticize reconnecting with long-lost family. We convince ourselves that time changes people, that distance softens old wounds, that maybe—this time—it will be different. I believed that too. I thought reconnecting would bring healing, closure, or a sense of wholeness I felt was missing.

Instead, it brought clarity.

They proved exactly why they weren’t in my life for years.

And that realization was painful—but freeing. What’s even better is the fact that you almost never see them like, share, recommend or support any of your posts, content, or photos but you will know for a fact that they are reading and stalking your content. So post proudly and continue to let them envy your life while you leave them behind. 

Loyalty Matters More Than Biology

Family isn’t defined by shared DNA. It’s defined by presence. By the people who show up when things are hard, not just when it’s convenient. The ones who stayed when it would’ve been easier to leave. The ones who supported you, believed in you, and helped shape who you became.

Those are your people.

Blood doesn’t automatically earn access to your life. Love, effort, consistency, and accountability do. Anyone can share your last name. Not everyone deserves your energy, your forgiveness, or your seat at the table.

When Absence Is the Answer

If you were important to someone, they would have found a way to stay. Relationships don’t disappear by accident. Silence is a choice. Distance is a decision.

That’s why I won’t try again. And I won’t attend funerals for people who couldn’t be bothered to show up while they were alive. That might sound harsh, but it’s rooted in truth: you don’t owe loyalty to people who never gave it to you.

Closure doesn’t always come from reconnection. Sometimes it comes from acceptance—accepting that their absence was the answer, and believing it.

You Get to Choose Your Family

If you’re reading this and carrying guilt because family left you behind, let it go. You didn’t fail. You weren’t unworthy. Some people simply choose their own paths, and not all of them include us.

The beautiful part? You get to choose yours too.

You build your own family from the people who choose you back. The ones who stand beside you, grow with you, and never make you question where you belong. That family may not look traditional—but it will be real.

And real is always better than forced.

So remember who was there from day one. Protect those relationships. Honor the people who never left.

Because family isn’t about blood.

It’s about staying.

As humans, we naturally crave connection—especially family connection. There’s something deeply rooted in us that wants to belong, to feel chosen, to feel like we matter to the people who share our blood. But missing the idea of family doesn’t mean we need the people who walked away from us.

That distinction matters more than we’re often taught.

It’s easy to romanticize reconnecting with long-lost family. We convince ourselves that time changes people, that distance softens old wounds, that maybe—this time—it will be different. I believed that too. I thought reconnecting would bring healing, closure, or a sense of wholeness I felt was missing.

Instead, it brought clarity.

They proved exactly why they weren’t in my life for years.

And that realization was painful—but freeing.

Loyalty Matters More Than Biology

Family isn’t defined by shared DNA. It’s defined by presence. By the people who show up when things are hard, not just when it’s convenient. The ones who stayed when it would’ve been easier to leave. The ones who supported you, believed in you, and helped shape who you became.

Those are your people.

Blood doesn’t automatically earn access to your life. Love, effort, consistency, and accountability do. Anyone can share your last name. Not everyone deserves your energy, your forgiveness, or your seat at the table.

When Absence Is the Answer

If you were important to someone, they would have found a way to stay. Relationships don’t disappear by accident. Silence is a choice. Distance is a decision.

That’s why I won’t try again. And I won’t attend funerals for people who couldn’t be bothered to show up while they were alive. That might sound harsh, but it’s rooted in truth: you don’t owe loyalty to people who never gave it to you.

Closure doesn’t always come from reconnection. Sometimes it comes from acceptance—accepting that their absence was the answer, and believing it.

You Get to Choose Your Family

If you’re reading this and carrying guilt because family left you behind, let it go. You didn’t fail. You weren’t unworthy. Some people simply choose their own paths, and not all of them include us.

The beautiful part? You get to choose yours too.

You build your own family from the people who choose you back. The ones who stand beside you, grow with you, and never make you question where you belong. That family may not look traditional—but it will be real.

And real is always better than forced.

So remember who was there from day one. Protect those relationships. Honour the people who never left.

Because family isn’t about blood.

It’s about staying.