Teaching Our Kids Respect Isn’t Optional Anymore

As a mom of three teenagers who are quickly nearing adulthood, I have learned something that feels heavier every year:

Respect has to be taught — and it has to start young.

Our kids are growing up in a world where cruelty is brushed off as “joking,” boundaries are ignored, and bullying has become so common that people almost expect it.

And when you’re standing on the sidelines watching it happen to your child, it changes you.

Watching Your Child Get Hurt Is a Different Kind of Pain

Parenting teens is hard in ways no one prepares you for.

When they’re little, you can scoop them up, fix the problem, and make it better.

But when they’re older?

You have to stand back while they experience rejection, betrayal, bullying, and disrespect — and it takes everything in you not to explode.

I have never wanted to hit someone else’s kid so badly in my life until my daughter started getting bullied by boys.

And I’m not talking about little kids who don’t know better.

I mean teenagers. Weapons were pulled, charges were laid and I am now officially in fight mode with anyone who hurts my family because of this nightmare incident.

Teenagers who absolutely know what they’re doing.

That’s the part that breaks a parent.

Respect Isn’t Just “Being Polite”

Respect is not just saying “please” and “thank you.”

Respect is:

• treating people like humans
• understanding consent and boundaries
• knowing when to stop
• having empathy
• being accountable

And honestly, I wish more parents took it seriously before their kids end up hurting someone else. I have been teaching my kids to speak up and defend themselves because of the troubled situations we have found ourselves in. 

Lessons That Teach Kids Respect (And Why You Need to Start Young)

Respect doesn’t magically appear at age 16.

It’s built slowly, through repeated lessons and consistent parenting.

Here are some of the most important things we can teach our kids:

• Kindness isn’t weakness
  Being respectful doesn’t mean being soft — it means being mature enough not to tear others down.
• No means no, the first time
  Boundaries matter in friendships, relationships, school, and online.
• Words can leave permanent scars
  Teens may “move on,” but the damage from humiliation and bullying sticks around.
• Your actions represent your character
  What you do when no adult is watching is who you really are.
• Respect applies to everyone — not just friends
  How your child treats the “weird kid,” the shy kid, or the unpopular kid says everything.
• Accountability is a life skill
  Apologies mean nothing without changed behavior.
• Social media is not a free-for-all
  Posting, messaging, sharing photos — it all has real consequences.
• Empathy must be practiced
  Teach kids to ask: How would I feel if someone did that to me?
• Relationships require mutual respect
  If your child is dating, they need to understand healthy communication and consent.
• Respect starts at home
  Kids learn how to treat others by how they are treated — and how they see adults treat people.

Parents: We Need to Talk About Nudes

This part matters, and too many people avoid it because it’s uncomfortable.

Teen boys sending unsolicited photos is not “flirting.”

It’s not funny.

It’s not normal.

My daughter does not want to see your son’s penis.

And I wouldn’t want my son doing that to someone else’s daughter either.

Parents need to step up and have the hard conversations:

• Sending nudes can be harassment
• Sharing images is a crime in many places
• It can destroy reputations and mental health
• Consent still applies online

If your kid has a phone, they need guidance. 

Silence is not protection. My daughter is now equipped with the weapons she needs to be a somebody who defends herself and she will be keeping proof (screenshots) of what is sent to her from now on so if you want this stuff kept private have a talk with your kids. 

The Truth: This Is the Time to Step It Up

I am tired.

I am angry.

And I am heartbroken watching what teens are doing to each other.

But mostly?

I am calling on parents to do better.

Teach your kids respect.

Teach them empathy.

Teach them boundaries.

Because if we don’t raise decent humans, the world becomes crueler one teenager at a time.

And our kids deserve better than that.

Final Thought

Parenting is hard.

Teen years are brutal.

But one thing is clear:

Respect isn’t optional. It’s foundational.

Let’s raise kids who don’t become someone else’s trauma. I have reached the limit and will be taking matters into my own hands from now on. If I have to come to your house about your child’s behaviour it’s time to be concerned.