How to Talk to Your Kids About the Dangers of Drinking

Talking to your kids about alcohol isn’t a single, awkward lecture. It’s a series of intentional, age-appropriate conversations that evolve as they grow. In a culture where drinking is often portrayed as normal or even glamorous, parents have a powerful opportunity to shape how their children think about alcohol, risk, and responsibility.

Here’s how to approach the conversation in a way that is honest, practical, and grounded in your family’s values.

Start the Conversation Early

Many parents wait until high school to bring up alcohol. By then, your child may already be facing peer pressure. Instead, start laying the groundwork early. Twenty percent of brain development occurs after the age of three, and as children grow into teenagers, they’re still learning how to weigh risks, control impulses, and think long term. That means teenagers aren’t “bad” when they make impulsive choices—they’re still learning.

 Framing the conversation around growth rather than blame can make a huge difference. You might say:

• “Your brain is still developing, and alcohol can interfere with that.”
• “Good decision-making is something you build over time.”

This approach communicates respect while reinforcing responsibility.

Be Clear About the Legal Risks

Teens often believe legal consequences only apply if someone is “drunk.” That’s not always the case. Some states, like Texas, have a zero-tolerance law. This means it’s illegal for any minor to operate a vehicle with any detectable amount of alcohol in their system—even if it’s below 0.08%. 

Many teens assume staying under the standard legal limit keeps them safe from consequences. For minors, that assumption can lead to serious legal trouble.

Help your child understand:

• Zero-tolerance means zero.
• Even one drink can result in license suspension.
• A record involving alcohol can affect scholarships, college admissions, and jobs.

Keep the tone factual rather than threatening. Teens respond better to calm clarity than scare tactics.

Connect the Message to Their Values

Conversations about alcohol are more effective when tied to something meaningful in your child’s life.

For families who attend church, this is a natural place to reinforce the message. Approximately 20% of Americans attend church every week, and many churches offer Sunday school classes or youth programs that address real-life issues—including the dangers of alcohol misuse. If your child participates in Sunday school, ask what they’ve learned and build on those lessons at home.

You might say:

• “What did your youth group talk about this week?”
• “How do you think your faith guides decisions about drinking?”

When children hear consistent messages from both parents and trusted community leaders, those lessons tend to stick.

If your family isn’t involved in church, the same principle applies—tie the conversation to your shared values. Whether it’s health, discipline, personal responsibility, or academic goals, connect alcohol awareness to what matters most in your household.

Teach Practical Refusal Skills

Knowledge alone isn’t enough. Teens need tools. Role-play common scenarios:

• Someone offers them a drink at a party.
• Their ride home has been drinking.
• Friends pressure them by saying, “Don't be a chicken.”

Help them practice simple responses:

• “I’m driving.”
• “I’ve got practice tomorrow.”
• “Not my thing.”

You can also establish a family safety plan. Let them know they can call you anytime for a ride, no questions asked in the moment. Safety should always come first.

Model What You Expect

Children of all ages watch how adults handle alcohol.

If you choose to drink, do so responsibly. Avoid joking about using alcohol to cope with stress. Demonstrate moderation and never drive after drinking. If you’ve made mistakes in your past, sharing those lessons—appropriately and honestly—can make your guidance more credible.

Consistency between words and actions builds trust.

Keep the Dialogue Ongoing

Your first conversation about alcohol shouldn’t be your last.

As your child grows, the discussion should deepen. Ask open-ended questions:

• “What do kids at school think about drinking?”
• “Have you ever felt pressured?”
• “What would you do if your driver had been drinking?”

Listen more than you lecture. When teens feel heard, they’re more likely to open up.

Talking to your kids about the dangers of drinking is ultimately about equipping them—not controlling them. Acknowledge that they’re still learning and developing. Most importantly, keep the lines of communication open. When your child knows they can turn to you without fear or shame, you become their strongest ally in helping them make safe, responsible choices.