If you are reading this that means you either have someone whom you think is “the one” or you are currently looking for him or her. You are making the right choice to consider the important factors before making a huge life-changing decision. However, no marriage is perfect, so no matter how many articles you read or how much advice you soak in, you will still run into problems in your marriage sometime in your future. Marriage is more than just having a roommate; it is sharing your entire life with another person. So, before you say “yes” and sign up for online singing lessons to wow everyone on your big day, you first need to ensure you're making the right decision all you need to do is consider a few important factors. To help bring you some perspective about marriage, here are some things you need to think about before saying “I Do”.
1. Are You Marrying into Debt?
Money shouldn’t ever be the reason that prohibits you from marrying the person of your dreams. However, it is an important factor. Does this person have a substantial amount of unpaid debt lying in the corner ready to haunt you in your dreams? Starting a marriage off with debt is never a good idea. It can cause unwanted stress and strain on a newly married couple (which is the most vulnerable time in a relationship). It can even manifest in problems before the vows, by preventing you from splurging on the wedding dress of your dreams or booking the perfect honeymoon in Kuala Lumpur. We aren’t saying you should throw your person into a ditch just because they had problems handling their money, but you may want to consider putting off the wedding date until the debt is paid off. Just make sure all the cards are out on the table; basically, saying your significant other has been 100% honest about this or her debt. This is to ensure there are no surprises after the wedding!
2. The Future and Kids
It is very common for couples to discuss their future family size when they are in early stages of dating. However, if you haven’t had that conversation yet with your special person, it is a good idea to have that now before marriage. Do want them, or do you not want any? Can you imagine the two of you bringing up your kids and maybe buying your child a pet, like a hamster to keep in the hamster cage? Children are a life-changing decision, just like marriage. It is important to have a similar outlook on what your “future” family will look like. Ask each other how many children max would they want, and how many minimum. Or would they ever be open to adoption or fostering? If your significant other says they want two kids and you want three, that is nothing to stress about.
You’ll also want to think far ahead financially and talk about where you’ll be in life when you have kids. Will you be able to afford tuition or to hire a top-tier tutor? These are all important questions to consider. You don’t need all the answers now, but they are something to discuss before you make a lifelong commitment.
Religion can be a huge barrier or deal breaker for many relationships. It is common that most couples have already addressed the topic of religion, however, some haven’t. If this is you, and you are open to potentially trying out other religions or you have strong convictions about other religions it is a good idea to express those thoughts with your person. How important is it that your partner is willing to practice the same faith with you? Or how will your partner's religion affect your lifestyle or the life of your future children? It is important to address beliefs, however, don’t get worked up if you don’t see eye to eye on every belief you have. Everyone on this planet has their own unique outlook on faith and religion.
Location is a huge topic whether it sounds like it or not. Depending on where you end up living is a huge life decision! Will you have to give up your family and hometown? Or will you be forced to live somewhere with harsh weather conditions? Where do you envision yourself putting down some roots? It is important to talk what your partner finds to be important in their future permanent home. Is that to be near family? And who’s family exactly do they want to be nearer? However, you do have all the time in the world to figure out where you want to live, you have your whole life to move around to different cities. Your first home may not even be where you stay!
5. Living Conditions
Living with someone for the rest of your life is not as easy as it sounds. Remember the last time you had a roommate? A sibling or a friend? No matter how much you love them, they will always have certain habits of living that will annoy you! On top of that, when you live together, you’ll eventually have to make relationship-based decisions like purchasing a mattress for your marriage bed or taking on a home renovation project. A good rule of thumb is to make sure you can still love that person without letting their pet peeves and habits get in the way, and that the two of you will be able to make decisions together—no matter how big or small.