For children, divorce can be an especially sad, stressful, and a very confusing time. At any age, kids may feel shocked, uncertain, or angry at the prospect of mom and dad splitting up. They may even feel guilty, blaming themselves for the problems at home. While it’s normal for a child to grieve the breakup of the family, as a parent, there’s plenty you can do to make the process less painful for your kids. Divorce is never a seamless process, but there is ways you can help your children cope with the upheaval of a breakup and come out the other side more resilient, more understanding, and even with a closer bond withboth parents. To obtain these results, you need to be able to explain the situation to the children.
Best ways to explain the complicated situation to the kids
When it comes to telling your kids about your divorce, many parents freeze up. There are ways to make the conversation a little easier on both yourself and your children by preparing what you’re going to say before you sit down to talk. If you can anticipate tough questions, deal with your own anxieties ahead of time, and plan carefully what you’ll be telling them, you will be better equipped to help your children handle the news. It is important to adapt the speech depending on the age of the children’s.
You need to know what to say and how to say it
Difficult as it may be to do, you must try to have an empathetic tone and address the most important point’s right up front. Give your children the benefit of an honest and friendly explanation.
Your kids are entitled to know why you are getting a divorce, but long-winded reasons may only confuse them. Pick something simple and honest as you may need to remind your children that while sometimes parents and kids don't always get along, parents and kids don't stop loving each other or get divorced from each other. You have to do everything you can for the children to understand it is not his fault!
However, simple it may sound, letting your children know that your love for them hasn’t changed is a powerful message. Tell them you’ll still be caring for them in every way, from fixing their breakfast to helping with homework and being there when they play soccer or hockey. Yes, you will have to acknowledgethat some things will be different now, and other things won’t and most of all, let them know that together you can deal with each detail as you go.
How to help the children during that difficult period
A separation or divorce is a highly stressful and emotional experience for everyone involved, but it can often feel to your children that their whole world has been turned upside down. At any age, it can be traumatic to witness the dissolution of your parents’ marriage and the breakup of the family. Inevitably, such a transitional time can’t be without some measure of grief and hardship, but you can dramatically reduce your children’s pain by making their well-being your top priority.
Your patience, reassurance, and a listening ear can minimize tension as your children learn to cope with unfamiliar circumstances. By providing routines your kids can rely on, you remind them that they can count on you for stability and structure. Also, maintaining a working relationship with your ex can help your kids avoid the stress and anguish that comes with watching parents in conflict. If you can’t find a common ground with your ex, there is always other solution like seeking the help of a professional and use mediation to help your situation. With the help of a family mediation and advices from an expert with experience, your kids can not only successfully navigate this unsettling time, but even emerge from it feeling loved, confident, and strong.