There are some conversations in parenting that make people uncomfortable. Some parents avoid them altogether, some wait until the school starts teaching sex education, and others believe being open and honest with their children from an early age is the best way to help them navigate growing up.
One of those conversations is boys, puberty, sexuality, and everything that comes along with becoming a young man.
Let’s be honest: growing up isn’t always easy. Hormones change, bodies develop, curiosity increases, and suddenly there are things happening that boys might not understand, know how to handle, or even feel comfortable talking about. There can be embarrassment, awkward moments, questions about privacy, and the very real need to understand personal hygiene.
As parents, we have to decide how we want to approach these conversations.
Do we pretend certain things don’t happen? Do we leave everything up to school sex education? Or do we accept that these are natural parts of growing up and give our boys a safe place to ask questions without feeling ashamed?
Personally, I think we need to make these conversations a lot more normal.
We don’t have to make everything uncomfortable, overly detailed, or embarrassing. We simply need to teach our boys that their changing bodies are normal, that they deserve privacy, that pleasure and sexuality are natural subjects to learn about, and that being responsible is part of becoming an adult.
And perhaps most importantly, they need to know that they can come to us without worrying that we’ll laugh, judge, or make them feel bad about something completely natural.
Recently my best friend had to have a discussion with her son about sex and where babies come from and she was not comfortable with it. He then began asking about gay people and that conversation became even more uncomfortable, there are children in elementary school that are being very perverse and it is mind blowing to hear the stuff that comes out of their mouths.
My daughter was at the pool with her brother and her cousin and she was being followed around by a young boy who kept saying horribly sexual things to her and it didn’t end well for that little boy because our youngest took matters into his own hands and ended up clocking him one. Afterwards we found out this child was 8 years old - mind completely blown because the things he was saying were things that come out of a grown man’s mouth. After these two incidents I think it is even more important to speak with our kids about these topics. And tell them that they need to respect each other when it comes to sexual content.
Why Talking About Puberty With Boys Matters
Boys go through plenty of physical and emotional changes during puberty. Their voices change, they grow hair in new places, they experience hormonal changes, and they begin developing a different understanding of their bodies.
There are also private aspects of puberty that can be particularly embarrassing to discuss.
Things like:
- Unexpected erections.
- Wet dreams and nighttime emissions.
- Increased curiosity about sexuality.
- Questions about masturbation and personal pleasure.
- Understanding privacy and appropriate boundaries.
- Learning proper hygiene and cleanup.
- Understanding consent, relationships, and safe sexual interactions.
These are not things we should make boys feel ashamed of.
Imagine going through all these changes without knowing whether what you’re experiencing is normal. Imagine being too embarrassed to ask your parents a simple question about your body.
That’s why having an open relationship matters. We want our boys to get accurate information from trusted adults rather than relying entirely on friends, social media, pornography, or whatever information they happen to find online.
School sex education is valuable, but it shouldn’t have to carry the entire responsibility of teaching our children about growing up.
As parents, we also have to recognize that our children eventually become young adults. I recently wrote about When Your Child Suddenly Becomes an Adult: The Emotional Shift Nobody Warns You About, and one of the biggest parts of parenting is preparing our children for independence while making sure they know they can always come to us for guidance.
How to Make These Conversations Less Awkward
You don’t need to sit your son down for one enormous, uncomfortable conversation about absolutely everything. In fact, smaller conversations over time are often much easier.
Here is a simple list of ways to approach things.
1. Start With Normal, Everyday Conversations
Don’t make puberty sound like something embarrassing or inappropriate.
- Explain that every boy develops at a different pace.
- Talk about body changes before they happen so nothing comes as a surprise.
- Explain erections, wet dreams, and hormonal changes in straightforward language.
- Let them know that curiosity about their bodies is normal.
- Remind them that they can ask questions without getting into trouble.
2. Talk About Privacy and Personal Boundaries
This is an important part of growing up.
- Explain the difference between private and public behaviour.
- Teach them that their bodies belong to them.
- Discuss consent, respecting other people’s boundaries, and never pressuring anyone.
- Explain that private activities should remain private.
- Make sure they understand that nobody should be asking them for intimate pictures or making them uncomfortable.
3. Discuss Pleasure Without Making It Shameful
This is probably where many parents start feeling uncomfortable.
Masturbation and sexual curiosity are subjects that many parents struggle to discuss. Some parents feel completely comfortable explaining these things, while others would rather avoid the conversation entirely.
I believe boys deserve accurate, age-appropriate information about their bodies, including understanding that sexual feelings and curiosity can be a normal part of development.
You don’t need to provide unnecessary details or become involved in anything that should remain private. You can simply explain what is happening, answer questions honestly, and establish healthy boundaries.
The important thing is that your son doesn’t grow up thinking that having questions about his body makes him dirty, inappropriate, or wrong.
4. Teach Hygiene and Cleanup
One thing that doesn’t always get discussed enough is personal hygiene.
As boys mature, they need to understand how to take care of their changing bodies and maintain cleanliness.
Talk about:
- Washing regularly and maintaining good personal hygiene.
- Cleaning up after private activities.
- Washing hands and keeping personal items clean.
- Understanding that personal products should never be shared.
- Following cleaning instructions for any personal wellness products.
- Keeping private items stored somewhere secure.
These conversations don’t have to be graphic. They’re simply another part of teaching personal responsibility.
5. Talk About Relationships and Safe Sex
Eventually, conversations about puberty will lead to conversations about relationships and sexual activity.
Rather than waiting until your child is already navigating these situations, start discussing consent, contraception, sexually transmitted infections, and emotional readiness before they become relevant.
Make sure your boys understand:
- Consent must always be freely given.
- Nobody owes anyone sexual activity.
- Condoms help reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancy.
- Condoms must be used correctly and consistently.
- Being in a relationship doesn’t mean someone is automatically ready for sex.
- They should never feel pressured to do something because their friends are doing it.
And please, don’t make asking for condoms an embarrassing experience. If your son is old enough to be considering sexual activity, he needs access to accurate information and protection.
6. Let Them Know Embarrassment Is Normal
Sometimes boys won’t want to talk about these things with their parents, and that’s okay.
They might blush, laugh, change the subject, or pretend they don’t care. They might even be completely mortified that you brought it up!
Don’t force a conversation when they’re uncomfortable. Give them information in small pieces, provide trustworthy resources, and let them know you’re available whenever they need you.
The goal isn’t to know every private detail of your child’s life. It’s to make sure they aren’t growing up without guidance.
What About Products That Can Help With Personal Hygiene and Pleasure?
This is where things get a little more controversial.
There are companies that create products specifically designed for adult men’s personal wellness, pleasure, and relationships. One brand worth mentioning is LELO.
LELO offers a variety of adult men’s products designed for personal use and partner enjoyment. Their collection includes everything from personal wellness products to male masturbators and condoms.
I absolutely love the scene in working moms where Val reveals she got her two sons fleshlights because they were having sex with the holes in the drywall. That mom is definitely comfortable with sexuality and her son’s aggressive sexual tendencies.
The acid trip scene happens in Season 3, Episode 8 of Workin' Moms, titled "Girl's Trip".
I wrote a great piece about why that show is one of my favourites and how amazing it is to watch a show that is relatable to life as a busy mom. You can find it here: https://www.funkyfrugalmommy.com/2023/01/what-i-learned-from-tv-show-working-moms.html?m=1
Important distinction: These products are intended for adults. They are not puberty products or appropriate gifts for underage boys. For teenagers, the focus should remain on education, hygiene, privacy, and access to appropriate sexual-health resources.
For the adult men in our lives, however, personal wellness products can make interesting and thoughtful gifts.
You can browse the LELO men’s product collection here.
LELO’s Male Masturbators
LELO offers four male masturbators in its collection, with different features and designs for adult users with different preferences.
One product that stands out is the LELO F2S.
The F2S is an app-connected male stroker and stamina trainer. It features an open-ended liquid silicone sleeve, multiple pleasure settings, and guided routines through the LELO app.
It also offers stamina-training and guided Kegel exercises for adult men interested in exploring pelvic floor training and sexual wellness.
You can check out the LELO F2S here.
If you want to compare the different options, visit the complete LELO male masturbator collection.
Keeping Personal Products Clean
Another important part of personal wellness is hygiene.
Reusable intimate products need proper cleaning and maintenance. Always follow the manufacturer’s cleaning instructions, use compatible products, and allow items to dry completely before storing them.
LELO also offers personal moisturizers and cleaning products as part of its adult wellness collection.
You can explore their men’s wellness products and accessories here.
It’s another opportunity to remind adult users that taking care of personal products is just as important as taking care of their own hygiene.
Don’t Forget About Safe Sex Products!
Another product category worth discussing is condoms.
I think making condoms accessible to young people who may become sexually active is an important part of responsible parenting. Supplying protection should never be treated as an encouragement to have sex. It’s about making sure they have the knowledge and resources to make safer decisions.
LELO also carries its HEX condom collection.
The LELO HEX condom collection includes several options, including HEX Original, HEX Respect XL, and HEX Organic.
The HEX Original features a distinctive hexagonal structure designed to provide flexibility, comfort, and a secure fit.
Condoms are an important part of safer-sex education. They should be checked for expiry dates, used according to their instructions, and replaced with a new one every time.
Remember that latex condoms should be used with compatible lubricants, and condoms help reduce but do not eliminate the risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.
I would much rather have an awkward conversation about protection than have my child feel too embarrassed to ask for it when they need it.
Should We Be Giving Gifts Like These to the Men in Our Lives?
This is where I think everyone will have a different opinion!
When it comes to adult men, I don’t think personal wellness and sexual wellness products need to be treated as taboo gifts.
We spend so much time shopping for husbands, boyfriends, and partners, trying to find something different from the usual socks, shirts, tools, and gadgets.
Why not consider something that focuses on personal wellness, intimacy, or adding something new to an adult relationship?
There is absolutely nothing wrong with buying an adult partner something that encourages them to explore their own preferences or enjoy a little extra intimacy together.
If you’re shopping for an adult partner, you can explore:
However, I would keep adult sexual products firmly in the adult gift category. For teenagers, gifts should focus on age-appropriate education, personal hygiene, privacy, and access to reliable sexual-health resources rather than intimate devices.
Let’s Stop Making Growing Up So Awkward!
At the end of the day, boys are going to grow up. Their bodies are going to change, they’ll have questions, and they’ll experience things that might make them feel embarrassed.
We can’t prevent puberty, and we shouldn’t make our children feel ashamed of it.
What we can do is create an environment where they feel safe asking questions, learning about their bodies, understanding personal boundaries, and becoming responsible young adults.
You don’t have to be the parent who discusses every single detail. You don’t have to be comfortable with every topic immediately. But you should be willing to have the conversations that matter.
I’d much rather my boys learn about their bodies, pleasure, consent, hygiene, and safe relationships from someone who genuinely cares about them than have them trying to figure everything out alone.
Parenting is a journey of learning and adapting. As our children grow, our responsibilities change, too. If you’re navigating the teenage years, you might also enjoy my article about making room for your teen’s independence.
What do you think?
Are you comfortable discussing sexuality, masturbation, and the more awkward aspects of puberty with your boys? Do you think parents should be more open about these subjects, or should certain things be left for children to discover privately?
And when it comes to adult gifts, would you consider giving your husband or partner something from LELO?
I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts because this is one parenting conversation that deserves a little more honesty and a lot less judgment!
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