At all ages, poor body-image diminishes sex!
When was the last time you saw images of aging bodies having a fabulous time? You can`t remember, right? Why are we constantly lacking media images of sexual encounters among older adults? It turns out we are repeatedly surrounded by images of young bodies having sex which is a harmful myth that is related to our culture`s discomfort with aging and aging bodies, so-called ageism. This is why LELOasked dr. Laurie Mintz, professor of psychology and licensed sex therapist, to explain if there is a reason behind this stereotype - is sex really for young people only?
“Perhaps most important is one's attitude about sex and aging. In one study of over 600 women between the ages of 45 and 70, the majority were still sexually active -- and the strongest predictor of remaining sexually active was the belief that sex was important. In other words, positive attitudes about sex (i.e., considering it an essential, important part of life) seem to eclipse biological changes when it comes to women's sexuality as they age. Stated yet another way, our sexual bodies change as we age, but sexual pleasure can stay the same – or even get better with age!”
Different research found that while sexual frequency among women may decrease with age, satisfaction increases, meaning women get more orgasmic. So it turns out sex is like wine that only gets better with age. Dr. Mintz reveals the reasons behind this:
Women get more comfortable in their bodies
- They are more likely to tell their partners exactly what they like
- They use more lubricant and sex toys
- They stop defining sex as just an intercourse
- More time is spent in kissing, massaging, clitoral stimulation
While we often equate sexual desire with being “horny” or the physical feelings of desire, there is another type of sexual desire, and that is an openness to the idea of sex. This can easily be associated to the fact that men don't get to this point until they are middle-aged - meaning their minds aren`t set to experience good sex before. And the same can refer to women. “Both research and clinical writings find that as women age---and as the length of a relationship goes on—they feel horny (also called “spontaneous sexual desire”) less often. While there are some women who stop having sexual relations due to this, there is also a large group of women who use their receptive desire to lead them to have satisfying sexual encounters. In other words, they reverse the equation and instead of waiting to be horny to have sex, they have sex to get horny. Instead of relying on their biology (aka, the sometimes-raging hormones of youth and early-stage relationships), they rely on their knowledge of the importance of sex to their relationships and how wonderful sex can be for them, to remain sexually active well into their later years”, clarified dr. Mintz.
While everything regarding sex and aging sounds ideal, there are certain problems both men and women might find disturbing. For example, research on the effect of menopause on sex is a bit confusing and mixed, meaning, decrease in estrogen can bring a variety of unsexy symptoms (hot flashes, vaginal walls thinning), but on the other hand, some menopausal women say they have better sex post-menopause because they are not worried about pregnancy and STIs. Men can experience problems with testosterone levels which play an important role in sexual experience - the penis may take longer to erect and the erections may not be as firm. But knowing the fact that there are medications available to help men, this, in parallel to the final result, makes just a tiny solvable obstacle.
The changes that come with aging cause women and men to communicate more, get more creative, listen to their bodies, maybe even slow things down - and as a result, get the type of stimulation that is more likely to lead to satisfying sex - kissing, oral sex, caressing. They also often incorporate more lube and vibrators into sex - and we know that women who use vibrators have easier and more frequent orgasms. And in light of the fact that LELO just loves to see aging bodies having fabulous time, use FABULOUS10 and simply enjoy.
So for the great finale - positive attitudes are what really counts. “At all ages, poor body-image diminishes sex”, concluded dr. Mintz.
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