There are some memories that stay with you not because you want them to, but because they shaped who you became. One of the most vivid from my childhood is something I’ve rarely talked about openly: my mom used to accidentally light herself on fire on a regular basis.
She was deep into drugs at the time—so far in that she would fall asleep with cigarettes in her hand. My brother and I were only about 9 and 11, far too young to understand addiction, but old enough to constantly scan the house for danger. Burn marks on her clothes weren’t unusual. Sometimes the burns were on her skin. And more than once, we had to throw water on her to put the flames out.
We learned to sleep with one ear open. We learned the smell of burning fabric. We learned fear long before we learned safety.
Looking back, what stands out most isn’t the chaos—it’s the responsibility children should never have to carry. And sadly, my story isn’t unique. There are so many kids today living in homes where addiction, neglect, or instability have created dangerous environments. Kids who are scared to fall asleep. Kids trying to stay alert for problems that aren’t theirs to solve.
That’s why I share this.
Not for sympathy.
Not for shock value.
But because someone needs to say it out loud:
If you suspect a family member is struggling—check in.
It doesn’t take much to knock on a door, make a phone call, or ask a simple “Are you okay?” Sometimes that tiny bit of concern is all a person—or a child—needs to feel seen. And if something does feel wrong, there are countless resources ready to help. You don’t have to fix the problem alone, but your awareness might be the first step in getting someone to safety.
Addiction steals mothers. It steals childhoods. It steals whole families if no one steps in. I have been sharing my tragic upbringing in the hopes that others in the same position are able to rise up and take control of their lives and help others. You can read about my life here:
https://www.funkyfrugalmommy.com/2025/10/why-im-finally-writing-my-story-from.html?m=1
Coming Out Of The Sobriety Closet
https://www.funkyfrugalmommy.com/2025/10/coming-out-of-sobriety-closet.html?m=1
Why Didn’t You Say Anything
https://www.funkyfrugalmommy.com/2025/10/why-didnt-you-say-anything.html?m=1
So please—trust your instincts.
Look out for the kids in your life.
Look out for the adults who might be quietly drowning.
You never know when your concern might prevent a tragedy… or brighten a child’s entire world.
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